#EffYourBeautyStandards

“One woman filled with self love and self acceptance is a model more super than any cover girl.” Amy Leigh Mercree

 

Society has become a place where become acceptable to criticize and bully people about their bodies. From a very young age, I’ve been chunky but funky and grew up knowing I wasn’t a part of the “normal” acceptable standard of beauty. I grew up with parents and grandparents who instilled values and beliefs that everybody is beautiful and judging somebody by their image was unacceptable behaviour. I’m unbelievably thankful to them as it helped formed and shape my ideology of what I wanted to see in society.

 

I don’t think people realize that words hurt more than actions. The reason is that words stay with you forever, the words that cut deep and slowly tear you apart inside. “Your Fat” or “I didn’t know walruses were allowed on rooftops” and the common insult “You look like a beached whale”. First I’d like to address that I have a whale of a time now reading the insulting comments about myself. Trust me I didn’t get fat on porpoise…(pun intended). It hasn’t always been the case, for twenty-four years I’ve belittled myself to combat these online trolls. In all honesty I still remember all the hurt, the tears, the days I ran home to my Mum and Sisters and cried. My Mum and Dad were my best friend during my childhood, if it wasn’t for my parents telling me about how important my education was for my future, I would have quit in grade nine.

 

I cannot really blame individuals for the torture school was, because society had just been introduced to social media and everyone was just trying to fit in although this was the expense of me. Kids would make fun of me online about my weight, my braces, my hairstyle looking like a mullet (looking back it was quiet atrocious) and not wearing a face full of make-up like 80% of the girls in the school did. I tried very hard to be accepted by changing myself to fit these standards, wearing make-up, and the horrible on trend headbands and taking millions of selfies per day.  I have to admit, the idea of being accepted by the popular girls was exciting and I thought maybe one day I could be popular. I was only accepted for who I was by one of the popular girls, her name was Kelsey and she made me feel like I belonged, we bonded over our love for Football. It was the friendship between Kels and I that kept me sane during the last three years of school.  

 

Looking back, the power of social media was only half of what it is today.  Social media has grown rapidly and new forms of media are created each day. The power of technology is killing the innocence of children and teenagers and even adults. I know I cannot go a day without my phone. My daily ritual is to wake up by my alarm on my phone, check for text messages, check Facebook, open Snapchat and send a daily “I don’t want to adult today” snap to my top friends, check Instagram activity and look at Twitter for any exciting updates. This all occurs on my technology savvy phone. Gone are the days of the only game you could play on your Nokia 3310. It’s becoming more acceptable for classrooms to be online, in fact I work at a school that does everything via online correspondents. This has created online world that we live by daily by posting status’s, photos and the important hashtags to gain followers. We live our lives via the popularity of our social media. We engage people into our lives via social media. It’s a convenient way of letting everybody know that we ate an apple and are feeling good. On the downside, it has also created a world of pictures that cannot be posted without a filter or taking them 100 times just to get the right angle. Because we are socially aware that people will screenshot the worst photos of you and post them online or in group chats just to make people laugh.

 

I’m guilty of many filtered photos and taking them 100 times because I hated the outcome of the photo. I’m aware that people screenshot videos of me at football games and post the photos online to bully me label me fat. Unlike most, I’m able to brush off the haters and the bullies and their ideology of what is the standard of beauty. Technology has changed the standard of beauty. Such platforms as Instagram are used by beauty bloggers and celebrities to pester teenagers to buy their products so they can be like them. I have family members who are still in school that have better make-up game than me. It shows that now, instead of going to the movies or playgrounds even the old-fashioned backyard, kids are going to shops buying the next craze in beauty products.

 

 This allows society to start judging kids younger than before due to the accessibility to these social media platforms. It’s changed the standard of beauty because no photo is unfiltered or not photo shopped. In the world we live in, photo shop is the most powerful tool to illustrate what beauty should be according to society. These ideas are constructed by social media and which posts are hitting millions of likes and accounts that have millions of followers. It’s not a healthy gauge of what beauty should be. It doesn’t demonstrate what is important in life and what makes a person so beautiful and loved. Personally, what I look for in a friend or eventually a partner is personality and good values and beliefs. I look for that beautiful smile that makes me smile, intentions that are genuine and the ability to laugh at themselves. That’s what I define as beauty, everybody has their own definition. Beauty shouldn’t be based on physical attributes. I found a quote by Audrey Hepburn that sums up me beliefs of Beauty Standards:

“For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day. For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.” 

Having lived majority of my life trying to fit into society’s idea on #beauty, I’ve learnt that beauty is the ability to accept and yourself for who you are. I know, by living my idea of beauty will slowly spread to others and slowly, we can start to change society’s ideas of beauty standards.

 

Remember you're Beautiful!

x Simply Sassy